I'm still here...In the hospital. I am on bedrest with bathroom privledges only. They are monitoring the babies every day, twice a day. The sonograms show that even though Twin A is without fluid, he is still growing. The goal right now is to get me to 28 weeks. Once we get there, they will reassess and see if it's safe to push for 30 weeks.
They estimate the babies each way about 2 1/2 pounds.

Matt has been a real trooper. He brought me my computer so I could have internet access in my hospital room, and he's been bringing me movies, crossword puzzles, books...etc.

I really miss my children. Matt is bringing them to see me tommorrow. I read Noelle a story over the phone tonight. Matt says that Aaron thinks I turned into the telephone. He picked it up tonight and dropped it and then said "uhoh, I dropped mommy"

I had one episode of really heavy bleeding earlier today, but the doctor came and looked and said He wasn't concerned as long as I wasn't having contractions.

Keep us all in your prayers everyone.

As I look around my living room I see, one little people activity garage set, about five sets of dirty toddler clothes, three books, a baby play yard, and a box full of random toys, and random candy wrappers, newspaper, shoes etc.

About five months ago, I would have had an absolute panic attack if my living room was this messy. Today however, I just can't find the strength to do anything about it.

Guys, I am tired. I am physically, emotionally, and utterly drained. These kids, this pregancy, and yes, even my husband is draining the life from me.

I need a break. I need someone to call and say, "Can I come take the kids for the afternoon?" I would love that. I would love to be able to clean my house without having a two year old running behind me dragging all the toys out.

I would love to go to the bathroom without a three year old knocking on the door asking me "are you doing #1 or #2" "don't forget to wipe".

I would love to grab a book and curl up on the sofa without hearing a ten month old cry from her highchair because she just wants me to hold her.

I would love to fix myself a snack and sit down and eat it without little mouths biting my sandwich from the other end.

But then, as I look around...I see Aaron holding a sippy cup upside down and dripping milk all over the floor, and see Noelle feeding the dog half of her hamburger, and listen to Holly snoring in the baby monitor, I realize, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. This is what God has given me. This is what my life is now. I am a mommy. I am a wife, I am needed. In about 20 years, maybe I'll have time for me again.

Aaron got his glasses yesterday. It has been so amazing watching him discover his world. It's as if he is seeing everything for the first time. When we got home, he sat in my lap, and rubbed my face, and smiled at me. He plays with his toys diffrently, and he enjoys looking at books now.

Not to mention, he looks absolutly adorable!!!!

Saturday was our five year wedding anniversary. We decided to get away for the weekend. We went to Jefferson Texas. I had been there once before and loved it, so we rented a cottage in the woods. We had a blast. I took Matt to all the places I had been to before, including the gone with the wind muesum. It was just as magical as it was the first time. Her collection had grown quite a bit.

We also went to the historical musuem full of random old crap. It was just as random as the first time and I laughed all the way through it.

I was quite sad as I took him to Fred's books on the bayou and found out that Fred has passed away only a few weeks before our arrival. I was really hoping to meet him again.

The cottage was the perfect getaway.

We truly rekindled the romance that gets lost amongst three kids and both of our full time jobs. He reminded me how much he loves me and he held me when I had bad dreams.

Five years of marriage to this man, and I can only hope for five hundred more. His heart and mine belong together. I am a blessed woman. Now if we could just stop having children we'll be all right!!

I don't know if I have publically announced that we wanted four children, so we tried, got pregnant and discovered that we tried for four, and got five..Yep twins!!

I was cleaning in the living room this morning and suddenly I heard a scream followed by loud crying. I went running thinking someone had cut off a finger or somthing. I find Noelle in the hallway crying hysterically. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I'm breaking apart" and holds up a mirror. She had her little princess mirror that had been stepped on and broken. She looked in it and thought her face was breaking apart. I had to show her in the mirror that she was ok.

I carried her in my womb for nine months. I went through five hours of very painful labor, I let her suckle from my breast, and how does the little brat repay me. She cuddled with me in bed, looked right into my eyes and says "dada"

My daughter turns three years old tommorrow. Today, I sat and watched her play. I had to choke back happy tears as I thought about what a beautiful and special girl she is. She is everything I want her to be, and so much more. She is smart. She is beautiful. She has a loving heart. I have so many hopes and dreams for her. I want her to grow up feeling loved. I want her to grow up knowing that there is nothing she could ever do to destroy my love for her. I want her to know that the world is full of opportunities for her. I want her to turn her dreams into realities. I never want her to doubt herself. I never want her to think "I'm not good enough". I never want her to think "I wish I was prettier, or smarter". For her, there will never be anyone pretter, or smarter than she is, in my eyes.
I want her to know and trust in Jesus. I want her to know the ultimate sacrafice that Jesus made for her, and I want her to love him, as he loves her.
I never want her to hurt, I never want her to get her heart broken, and I never want her to feel the pain of loss.

I know that I can't protect her from these things, nor can I make all of those things happen for her. All I can do is pray for every day. All I can do is love her, deeper and harder, so when the world is cruel to her, and when the pain of growing up is to hard for her, she knows that mommy's arms are open and waiting for her.

Happy birthday Noelle Foster. Mommy loves you.

There's no better way to start your birthday weekend than with the flu :(

I've decided to do a lj cleanup. I'm taking off communities that I'm not active in, and taking off people who don't post very much, or that I've lost touch with.

This is going to be one hell of a day.

I indulged in some TV time today, while the kids were playing in their room..or so I thought.

I was watching a 48 hours primetime show that I recorded last night. I know I should have gotten up to check on them..but alas, I didn't. Halfway through the show, Noelle comes to me and says "Mommy, my cars are stuck, I need help" then she grabs my hand and starts walking me towards her room. However, she stops halfway there, in front of the air conditioning vent in the hallway. She points and says, "My cars are in there"

Yes folks, my daughter managed to stick at least five hotwheel cars in the vent.

I called Matt. He said they won't catch on fire or anything, and he'll get them out when he gets home.

Sigh

I really think this baby is going to be early. Yesterday I had contractions every five minutes for about an hour. They stopped once I got in the shower. But you know, I just feel like it's time. I have an appointment Thursday so it will be neat to see if I've actually dialated any.

Yesterday we stopped at Arby's for dinner on the way home from the grocery store. Noelle had to potty. After she was finished she started running towards the door. I told her to wait for me, but she didn't listen, and ended up smashing her finger in the big heavy door. She was hysterical, and you know, not one worker came over to check on her. We had a long talk after she calmed down about listening to mommy's words, because mommy is just trying to keep her safe.

Noelle and Aaron share a bedroom. For the past three nights, she was been terrifed of Aaron at night. She comes out of her room screaming that Aaron is going to get her. I don't know if she had a bad dream or what, but it takes us a while to get her back to sleep.

My house is a mess, and I don't think it will ever be clean. The more I try, the more it gets wrecked. Today my goal is the entrance way, and beside the tv, where all the junk goes.

Noelle has three new phrases..The first one is "probably"..such as "I probably don't want to take a nap" "I probably need to eat now" and "I probably want to watch a movie"

The other one is "WAIT A MINUTE!!" Anytime somthing doesn't go the way she wants it to.

The last one is "Damnit Aaron". That one I've got to break her from.

Dear Bathroom,
I have just finished scrubbing you spotless. You look wonderful. The bathtub shines, the sink shines, and everything is put away so nicely. Could you please, please, please stay that way for more than five minutes.

Thank You,
Me

My husband gave me the best news ever yesterday!! His boss is going out of town next week. Since Matt is still so new to the job, and he's the only employee, he's giving Matt the week off with pay.

I am so excited. A week with my husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In just a few minutes, my kids will be leaving me for the weekend. My husband is on day three of the new job, which means for the first time in years, I will have complete 100 percent me time!! I don't even know what I'm going to do. I know I'm going to clean my house. I think a nap may be in the cards, and then I'm going to make me a cappachino, and watch a chick flick!

Holly Renee it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are going for the big sonogram today!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am excited..we get to find out if it's Holly Renee, or ? I still don't have a boy's name yet. I have been toying with Tristan Patrick, but I don't know. I'll let you all know when we get home. Please send some open leg vibes!!

Noelle just came up to me, and told me this joke, that made me laugh so hard I peed, just a little:

Noelle: knock knock
Mommy: who's there
Noelle iceam (icecream, for those who don't speak toddler)
mommy: iceam who
Nolle: iceam for wowie please (wowie is how she says her name)

I think the gates of Heaven opened up and God himself smiled upon me last night. Both children went to sleep at 7P.M. and did not wake up until 7 A.M.

I actually got to watch a movie with my husband. I got to eat a snack without any little toddler hands grabbing at it.

I got to go to sleep, with my husband, without a crying baby between us, and I got to sleep all the way through the night, without being woke up at 2 a.m.

I woke up in a panic thinking somthing must be horribly wrong, but I walked in the room to find a little baby boy smiling at me from his crib, and a sweet little girl reading a book in her bed.

And, the best part, it is now 10:30, and I have not thrown up once this morning.

Thank you Jesus for this wonderful day, and the wonderful night I had last night.

In october, on a whim, I entered Noelle in a walgreens costume contest. We got a letter today that said she was a third place winner!!

I got really excited, then found out there were 100 other third place winners, but, since there were like over 1000 entries, it's still exciting. we won 100 4X6 pictures! I'm so excited I can print out the rest of the pictures for scrapbooking!