I'm still here...In the hospital. I am on bedrest with bathroom privledges only. They are monitoring the babies every day, twice a day. The sonograms show that even though Twin A is without fluid, he is still growing. The goal right now is to get me to 28 weeks. Once we get there, they will reassess and see if it's safe to push for 30 weeks.
They estimate the babies each way about 2 1/2 pounds.
Matt has been a real trooper. He brought me my computer so I could have internet access in my hospital room, and he's been bringing me movies, crossword puzzles, books...etc.
I really miss my children. Matt is bringing them to see me tommorrow. I read Noelle a story over the phone tonight. Matt says that Aaron thinks I turned into the telephone. He picked it up tonight and dropped it and then said "uhoh, I dropped mommy"
I had one episode of really heavy bleeding earlier today, but the doctor came and looked and said He wasn't concerned as long as I wasn't having contractions.
Keep us all in your prayers everyone.
As I look around my living room I see, one little people activity garage set, about five sets of dirty toddler clothes, three books, a baby play yard, and a box full of random toys, and random candy wrappers, newspaper, shoes etc.
About five months ago, I would have had an absolute panic attack if my living room was this messy. Today however, I just can't find the strength to do anything about it.
Guys, I am tired. I am physically, emotionally, and utterly drained. These kids, this pregancy, and yes, even my husband is draining the life from me.
I need a break. I need someone to call and say, "Can I come take the kids for the afternoon?" I would love that. I would love to be able to clean my house without having a two year old running behind me dragging all the toys out.
I would love to go to the bathroom without a three year old knocking on the door asking me "are you doing #1 or #2" "don't forget to wipe".
I would love to grab a book and curl up on the sofa without hearing a ten month old cry from her highchair because she just wants me to hold her.
I would love to fix myself a snack and sit down and eat it without little mouths biting my sandwich from the other end.
But then, as I look around...I see Aaron holding a sippy cup upside down and dripping milk all over the floor, and see Noelle feeding the dog half of her hamburger, and listen to Holly snoring in the baby monitor, I realize, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. This is what God has given me. This is what my life is now. I am a mommy. I am a wife, I am needed. In about 20 years, maybe I'll have time for me again.
Saturday was our five year wedding anniversary. We decided to get away for the weekend. We went to Jefferson Texas. I had been there once before and loved it, so we rented a cottage in the woods. We had a blast. I took Matt to all the places I had been to before, including the gone with the wind muesum. It was just as magical as it was the first time. Her collection had grown quite a bit.
We also went to the historical musuem full of random old crap. It was just as random as the first time and I laughed all the way through it.
I was quite sad as I took him to Fred's books on the bayou and found out that Fred has passed away only a few weeks before our arrival. I was really hoping to meet him again.
The cottage was the perfect getaway.
We truly rekindled the romance that gets lost amongst three kids and both of our full time jobs. He reminded me how much he loves me and he held me when I had bad dreams.
Five years of marriage to this man, and I can only hope for five hundred more. His heart and mine belong together. I am a blessed woman. Now if we could just stop having children we'll be all right!!
I don't know if I have publically announced that we wanted four children, so we tried, got pregnant and discovered that we tried for four, and got five..Yep twins!!
I was cleaning in the living room this morning and suddenly I heard a scream followed by loud crying. I went running thinking someone had cut off a finger or somthing. I find Noelle in the hallway crying hysterically. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I'm breaking apart" and holds up a mirror. She had her little princess mirror that had been stepped on and broken. She looked in it and thought her face was breaking apart. I had to show her in the mirror that she was ok.
I carried her in my womb for nine months. I went through five hours of very painful labor, I let her suckle from my breast, and how does the little brat repay me. She cuddled with me in bed, looked right into my eyes and says "dada"
My daughter turns three years old tommorrow. Today, I sat and watched her play. I had to choke back happy tears as I thought about what a beautiful and special girl she is. She is everything I want her to be, and so much more. She is smart. She is beautiful. She has a loving heart. I have so many hopes and dreams for her. I want her to grow up feeling loved. I want her to grow up knowing that there is nothing she could ever do to destroy my love for her. I want her to know that the world is full of opportunities for her. I want her to turn her dreams into realities. I never want her to doubt herself. I never want her to think "I'm not good enough". I never want her to think "I wish I was prettier, or smarter". For her, there will never be anyone pretter, or smarter than she is, in my eyes.
I want her to know and trust in Jesus. I want her to know the ultimate sacrafice that Jesus made for her, and I want her to love him, as he loves her.
I never want her to hurt, I never want her to get her heart broken, and I never want her to feel the pain of loss.
I know that I can't protect her from these things, nor can I make all of those things happen for her. All I can do is pray for every day. All I can do is love her, deeper and harder, so when the world is cruel to her, and when the pain of growing up is to hard for her, she knows that mommy's arms are open and waiting for her.
Happy birthday Noelle Foster. Mommy loves you.
There's no better way to start your birthday weekend than with the flu :(
I've decided to do a lj cleanup. I'm taking off communities that I'm not active in, and taking off people who don't post very much, or that I've lost touch with.